Misinterpretation

Do you ever just read into something someone says way too much? I do this all the time. It seems to get me into more trouble than it is worth. So I think I am just going to stop talking to people. LOL No I guess that isn't an option now is it? Maybe I do this as a protective measure. If people would just say what they mean when they are talking to you then this wouldn't be a problem. I wouldn't have to try to figure out what they mean and in doing this I read too much into what they are saying. So people...When talking to someone about anything...Not just important things, you should just say what you mean. You can do this without hurting someone's feelings...Or if their feelings do get hurt...Maybe they needed to. Maybe they needed to get hurt so they could fix whatever the problem was in the first place.
So again I say to you...Just say what you mean!

Empty rooms my emotions left

In a song by Keith Urban he says that he is sweeping out the empty rooms his emotions left. Well I think I have finally closed the doors to those rooms and locked off that wing of my life. Actually having some sort of peace of mind feels good! I talked to my best friend last night and it sucks that he knows me so well. I always joke about still being friends with him because he knows too much about me to not be friends with him, but the truth is that he is so much a part of my life and always has been. Even when we didn't talk as much for a long while...Due to relationships we both were in... We still had that connection. I have 2 friends that I have been friends with for a very long time. Jason, whom I have known since he was short and fat.... And Paula who is the first person I met in my first unit at Fort Hood, 8 years ago. Neither of them live close but we talk all the time. Paula came to visit over the Easter holidays and I will see her again next march or April when she has her baby and I will see Jason over Christmas when I go home. He is coming home too.
Anyway...I think I lost track of what I was originally blogging about. Peace of mind is something I never really thought I would find. Especially about my life. I have found POM about many things...Especially my husband...I have come to peace with the fact that he is not like other husbands...He is not always lovey dovey...He likes to joke around and have fun which is great because I wouldn't want a stick in the mud...But I have peace about this. I have peace about my family... We have never been a close family...We don't say I love you nor do we kiss and hug...My mother is just not like that...But I am at peace with it...I know she loves me and I know that the rest of the family does too so it doesn't matter if she tells me. She shows it in different ways.
But there are many things I have peace with but never did I think I would finally achieve the Peace of mind that I think everyone deserves. It feels really good.
Don't ask me how I achieved it...It just happened...Not overnight but gradually I started feeling better and better about things...It is just as my title blog says...I have disinfected the history of my life!

Fear ...

Me? Right...but why is it that many people do? Is it because I speak my mind and don't let other people get to me? Is it because I don't give a crap what other people think of me? Someone told me today that They didn't want to ask me for help with something because they were afraid of me...Another person told me that they thought someone I work for is afraid of me....Is it because I am a strong woman? That I am folks...I can put up with a lot of crap and still smile at you about it....I don't let things get to me...I have many times thought about why this is and I can only come up with one answer...because I have to be. I refuse to walk around this earth for the rest of my life acting as if I am some meek, timid....however you want to describe it...I call it a pussy! I refuse to be that person...So if people are afraid of me because I am not a weenie....so be it!